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The Book

bagged and bored book cover


Hatbag is a webcomic by David Hitt and Lain Hughes. Based on "Hippie and the Black Guy" by Hughes, Hitt and Jesse Holland.


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Ye Olde Nerdmas Carols
God Rest Ye Nerdy Gentlemen

God rest ye, nerdy gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay:
Alien vs. Predator
Opens on Christmas Day
In an attempt to save franchises
Which had gone astray

And I hear they have a Pred-alien, Pred-alien
Yes, I hear they have a Pred-alien....


Palpatine Is Coming To Town

Oh, you'd better not pout, you'd better not cry
You better watch out, I'm telling you why:
Palpatine is coming to town.

He's learned from the Sith,
He's checked it all twice,
His side of the Force
Is naughty, not nice:
Palpatine is coming to town.
LARP lance
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if your body's burned up
In a far-away molten lake.

So you better get out, you'd better take off,
Quit your Jedi job, study to be a Moff:
Palpatine is coming to town.


Suzie, The Red-Haired Shopgirl

Suzie, the red-haired shopgirl,
had a very cozy store.
And if you ever saw her
you would want to read lots more.

All of the other store guys
used to come and browse her books.
And the comic shop owner
always gave her flirty looks.
Then one foggy Nerdmas Eve,
Seth came to say,
"Suzie, with your wares on shelves,
Won't you sell me a book with elves?"

So he bought The Silmarillion,
And said as he took it with glee,
"Suzie, the red-haired shopgirl,
won't you go out with me?"


The Nerdmas Song

Chess game going by an open fire,
Jack Black in your DVD.
Life Day carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Mr. T

Everybody knows
A turkey and some MST
Help to make the season bright
Tiny Jawas with their eyes all aglow
Will steal away your droids tonight
St. Evejobs
They know that Steve Jobs' on the way
He's got a lot of toys to show on Macworld Day
And every mother's nerd will spy
To see Batman can fight off Brother Eye.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
For geeks from one to forty-two:
Although it's been said in Klingon and by dwarves:
Merry Nerdmas to you.


Gandalf The Wizard

Gandalf the Wizard
Was a jolly, happy soul
With a long thin pipe and a pointy noise
And halfling-weed in his bowl

Gandalf the Wizard
Was known as Gandalf the Grey
But the hobbits knew
The things he could do
When he came round the Shire way.

There must have been some magic
In that ring that Bilbo found
For when he place it on his hand
The plot began to move around

Gandalf the Wizard
Was as wise as he could be
So he said let's go
To the young Frodo
And let's toss that ring away

Partway to Mordor
He protected Frodo well
Then they fought some ghouls,
He said "Run, you fools"
And down in the mine he fell

He fell right down the chasm
And that ol' Balrog he fought
That fire demon put a good fight up
But his fighting came to naught

Gandalf The Wizard
Fell a long long way that day
All charged up with might
He got bleached all white
So, so long Gandalf the Grey!

Whumpity whump whump
Whumpity whump whump
Look at Galdalf go!
Whumpity whump whump
Whumpity whump whump
With his big beard of snow!


Comic Books

Dashing to the store
In the afternoon Wednesday
'Oer the roads we go,
Geeking all the way
Wearing Green Lanterns' ring
To make our spirits bright
What fun it is to browse and shop
At the comics shop tonight!

Comic books, comic books
Comics all for me!
Oh, what fun it is to read


Cyber Wonderland

E-mail pings,are you listenin'?
On the screen, something's glistenin'
A beautiful site
On Google tonight
Browsin' through a cyber-wonderland

Dial-up was slow as quicksand
Here to stay is the broadband
It streams data down
So I can be found
Browsin' through a cyber-wonderland
modded mac
On the Facebook we can view some people
And pretend that we are really swell
They'll say "Are you married?"
We'll say "No, man!
At least, that is,
As far as you can tell."

Later on, we'll conspire
To steal songs with Limewire
We'll face unafraid
The R-I-A-A
Browsin' through a cyber-wonderland....


First Strip | Previous: « Do Androids Dream Of … | Next:   » Who Spiked The Punch | Most Recent

December 21, 2007 442 W, 47 I - + 17 - 8 Ye Olde Nerdmas Carols

Merry Nerdmas to all!

And, in case you missed them, check out last year's The Twelve Days Of Nerdmans and the classic The Night Before Nerdmas.

Hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday season!

--David & Lain

Richie - December 23, 2007 - 13:58